We know with certainty that our thoughts, behaviors and emotions are all connected. We have all experienced a thought which led to overwhelming emotion which has led to a disruption in our behavior or actions. It's a human thing.
It's important to know that sometimes our thoughts are not accurate and not true. "Just because I think it doesn't mean it's true." This can be very difficult for people to accept, especially when caught in an anxiety or depression cycle. This concept is known as cognitive distortions or thinking errors.
Thinking errors or cognitive distortions are defined as irrational and extreme ways of thinking that can maintain or increase mental health issues. Particularly, anxiety, low mood, excessive worry, self esteem and anger management issues can be fueled by thought distortions.
Here are just four of the most common thinking errors, as described by psychologytoday.com: Please note, there are several types of cognitive distortions.
1. All or Nothing Thinking - This is also known as black or white thinking. Examples would include: success vs failure; good vs bad;
2. Overgeneralizing - Taking one example or event in life and generalizing it to the rest of your life. Ex) If something at work doesn't go well you then say "I am a terrible employee and I will never succeed." Or if one of your friends is angry at you you say "I have no friends, everyone hates me."
3. Mind Reading - This is what it sounds like, you assume you know what someone else is thinking, usually, on the negative side of things. Ex) After an interaction with someone you might think "He thinks I'm stupid."
4. Catastrophizing - This is thinking things are much worse than they actually are- or assuming everything will turn out poorly. Predicting doom and gloom rather than realizing there are several possible outcomes.
How do we improve our ability to manage thinking errors? In order to change something- you first have to recognize this is a challenge that needs to be addressed. Start by examining your thoughts- name your thinking error when you notice it. Some people will journal or do a thought record, during this process. Next, acknowledge your thought- it is happening-- yet you don't have to believe the thought is true. (Remember- just because you think something doesn't mean it's true.) You can also find a more neutral thought to begin to replace your extreme thought, notice I said neutral thought, not necessarily a positive thought. It's not realistic to tell ourselves we have to think positive thoughts...a neutral thought is a great place to start, and is often more realistic. You can always look for evidence - because thinking distortions are not typically based on facts. Changing the way that you think is something that takes time and sometimes assistance. Be patient with yourself, reach out for support and learn other ways of challenging your thinking distortions in therapy. Changing your thoughts will lead to changes in the way that you feel and also in your actions and behaviors. Changing your thoughts can really change your life and relationships.