Until the Sting is Gone

Teresa Barnes, MSW, LCSW
Clinical Therapist

            Summer is finally here along with the scrapes and bumps from outdoor play.  It has been a long school year and summer is the time to enjoy days of picnics, bike rides, and camp.  Along with the car keys and cell phone, a mom’s purse can consist of sun block, anti-bacterial wipes, and band-aids.  Most wise moms know that they have to be prepared for any misfortune that can take place during a day of outdoor fun. 
            I remember my childhood days of summer when it was always inevitable that I would end up with some kind of scrape.  Some of my cuts and scrapes from a fall could be soothed by my mother’s kiss.  However, some injuries needed a little more care.  Rubbing alcohol was always the common remedy in my house and when the cuts were a little too deep, my mother would use it to clean out the wound.  I hated how alcohol felt when it first touched my skin.  The sting from the alcohol was real intense initially, often feeling worse than the actual fall!  However, my mother would then say that it stung because it was needed to clean out the infection.  What felt like eternity, actually became a couple minutes until the sting from the alcohol was gone.  When I got older and was brave enough to apply alcohol myself, I found that if I applied pressure to it, the sting was not as intense. 
            Life has its scrapes and bumps too.  Parents have an awesome responsibility of allowing their children to learn lessons that often result from their poor choices.  Although it is difficult to see their children in pain, when is it important to apply the pressure? 
            This may mean taking away what means the most to them.  For younger children, it could be toys or favorite items.  As they become older, driving privileges and weekend outings can be used.  However, as many parents report, this is often more painful for them being that they have to enforce consistently without fail.  This is the pressure.  The ability to enforce a consequence consistently without compromise is sometimes the hardest thing to do.  However, in the long run, it will teach them the value of logical consequences.  The goal is also to make the consequences so undesirable that it will deter subsequent poor choices.  Besides it is another way to let their children know that they are loved.   
For the Lord corrects and disciplines everyone whom He loves, and He punishes, even scourges, every son whom He accepts and welcomes to His heart and cherishes.
Hebrews 12:6 (Amplified Version)