The Eyes behind the Veil
The day is finally here. As you are helping your daughter adjust her veil, you are thinking to yourself, “Is she ready? Is she ready to become a wife?” The past weeks’ events have been a blur and now, all of them have lead up to this moment. The cake has been ordered, the bridesmaids’ gifts have been bought, and the food has been catered. The musician and your in-laws have arrived and the photographer has been paid. As you pull the veil over your daughter’s eyes and she looks at you for the last time as a single woman, you ask, “Have I prepared her to be the kind of a wife whom her husband will praise (Proverbs 31:28)?” “Is she ready to become the wife whom God has intended her to be (Proverbs 31:30)?”
Ten years earlier…
Start a hope chest. Traditionally, it has been considered a container of precious keepsakes and family heirlooms that are stored until the day of the wedding. The hope chest is also a symbol of a hopeful desire for love and security with the intended mate of God’s choice. Pieces of a girl’s childhood can also be placed in there so when she leaves her family home, she can take them with her when she starts her own family. Bedroom linens, family photographs, and keepsakes (i.e. Bible, jewelry, and etc.) are all suggested items that can be put in a hope chest.
Believe in your daughter’s potential to succeed even when she makes mistakes. Her value is in who she is, not in what she does. Once she is taught how to celebrate who she is, she will then know her value. She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls (Proverbs 31:10, Amplified version).
Allow her to hear you encourage her father. There are many verses in the Bible that describes that the true power of a woman resides in her ability to speak strength and life to her husband. It is then that he knows that his heart is safe. The heart of her husband trusts her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of (honest) gain or need of (dishonest) spoil. She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her (Proverbs 31:11-12, Amplified version).
Nurture her gifts. Help her locate her true talents so she may feel good about her abilities. Then teach her to seize the opportunities that her gifts will inevitably provide for her. She will learn to walk in God’s provision for her life. (Proverbs 31:13-16)
Promote a healthy lifestyle for your daughter. Healthy eating, exercising, and praying are all part of caring for the body that God has given her. She girds herself with strength (spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task) and makes her arms strong and firm (Proverbs 31:17, Amplified version).
Teach your daughter the value of hard work, commitment, and recreation. A balanced life will keep her from stress. When she is faithful to her commitments, she will learn integrity. (Proverbs 31:18 &22)
Allow your daughter to see you give sacrificially. This could be in tithes, offerings, and ministry. By this, she will learn that love means giving something that is valuable. (Proverbs 31:20, John 3:16)
Give your daughter age appropriate responsibilities at home. You will be able to observe her ability to perform tasks while using effective time management. Teach her the importance of managing time and money wisely. These are the commodities that God has entrusted to us all.
Reassure your daughter that her physical beauty is important but her future mate will fall in love with her because of what and how she talks and by how she lives. She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness (giving counsel and instruction). She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat (Proverbs 31:26-27, Amplified version). Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain (because it is not lasting), but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised! (Proverbs 31:30, Amplified version).
Ten years later…
The day has finally come. As you lower your daughter’s veil over her eyes, do you see confidence or insecurity? Do you see faith or fear? Is she ready? You may or may not know the answers to these questions. However, as you reflect on your own walk down the aisle, remember the God who has kept you in His care. The same God who has kept you will be the same God who will keep your little girl who has now become a woman. Take a breath and exhale… God can take it from here.
Teresa Barnes, MSW, LCSW
Clinical Therapist
