But Jesus called them (the parents) to Him saying, “Allow the little children to come to Me, and do not hinder them, for to such (as these) belongs the kingdom of God.” (Luke 18:16 Amplified Bible)

There is no greater feeling than when you see a glimmer of excitement in your child’s eyes for the first time. Seeing them experience for the first time life’s most mundane activities, sometimes give us a new perspective. Dog walking and watering the lawn becomes an exciting adventure when you see your child taking in all the colors and sounds of the outdoors. You may also giggle with the sound of their delight when they take in the sight and touch of the grass that has been kissed by the water and the sun. The laughs that come from children are pure and reflect their curiosity overcome by the excitement to understand their world in new way everyday.
As we begin to prepare for a new school year, there are plenty of opportunities to see your child’s world through his or her eyes. As children grow, these opportunities change. You may have a child who is starting school for the very first time. You may have a child starting high school. You may also have a child who is entering college. All these transitions are new and they can be scary. However, this may be an opportunity to turn this fear into curiosity. Share this moment with your children while capturing the excitement of understanding their world in a new way.
I hear many people still talk about their first school experiences and how they have helped shape their opinions about education and learning. This is why this is the time to help your children create their first school experiences, thereby enhancing their motivation to learn.

In most cases, this is also the time for preparation. If you have created an environment for learning prior to school, most likely your children will adapt well to the school environment. Enhancing their verbal skills by promoting a lot of reading and vocabulary development will give them a head start on their writing skills.
Social skills are also important and challenging. When not practiced in early childhood, there could be negative consequences on your children’s social development for years to come. Children often have playmates prior to entering school, so letting them practice social rules about sharing with others and having respect for others are priorities.
It is also vitally important to enhance your children’s self-worth and image. School is the first time when children will observe their successes and failures in a structured social context. This could be an exciting challenge for some and a frightening reality to others, but the work that is done inside of your children will help them make this transition. You can instill value in your children by providing them opportunities to build their strengths. Seeking and nurturing your child’s natural gifts will help build a healthy self-esteem in him or her.

Make school preparation adventurous by going on field trips that are school- related. Make shopping for school supplies a scavenger hut. Trips to the zoo and museums prior to the start of school will also enhance their vocabulary skills.
Middle school children are met with challenges regarding their academic, social, and creative ability. Hobbies are usually refined in school, so exploring this journey with your child is helpful. This is a good time to develop a hobby with him or her. This is the most creative time for your child, so playing a sport or creating interests that you both enjoy, will empower your child at school.

Homework time with your child is very important at this age. This is the time when you can easily see areas where your child can benefit from your involvement. You make a game show out of homework time so it won’t be boring for either of you.

Peer influences begin to influence your child at this age. Peer pressures are often the most difficult to fight because you are not with your child every minute of the day. Family prayer time and church involvement is critical to combat some of the potential dangers that will face your son or daughter. Continue to build their identity in Christ. Your trust in God’s protection and care will allow your child to see your faith walk during times of uncertainty, which is the most important thing he or she can learn.

By the time your child enters high school, all the work and time you spent nurturing, preparing, and building will be put to the test. This is a very confusing time for children because they are bridging the gap between childhood and adulthood. They want to do want they want without your supervision, but incapable of handling the responsibility associated with it. Unfortunately, they do not realize this until after they rebel and break a rule or two. You can help strengthen their maturation process through establishing and enforcing natural and logical consequences (i.e. failing grades means increased homework time with you). Teaching them responsibilities like doing laundry, paying bills, etc. will help them understand adulthood from a realistic perspective.

By this time, many teens are involved in sports, clubs, and other recreational activities. This is good time to enjoy these with your children because this will help gear them towards college and career choices. However, try not to let them overload their schedule because their grades during freshman and sophomore year will determine their ability to apply for scholarships during their junior and senior year.

Although the desire for peer relationships will override their desire to spend time at home, you can still have a positive influence on your child. Whether they welcome it or not, be as inquisitive about their school life as humanly possible. Continue to pray for them as they enter high school because issues regarding dating and sexuality become paramount issues. This is the time to continue to teach them to develop a living and breathing relationship with God so they can develop a God-awareness when you are not around. This will be extremely critical during this time of their social development.

When sending your children, now adult children to college, you may rejoice over surviving the adolescent years, but then have to solemnly prepare to watch your child make his or her own decisions about their life. Many parents have mixed feelings about this time. Believe it or not, your child has mixed feelings too. Remember that this time can be an adventure too. Your family can take field trips to visit colleges and make a weekend out of it. It will give you an opportunity to have some fun. Do some sightseeing and make it a family vacation. You also may want to take one of your child’s friends with you or go with another family.

Go over the adult “check list” with your child. Issues regarding money management, integrity, and spirituality are among the many areas which your child will need your guidance.

The best way to see your children’s world through their eyes is to ask them. Ask them what they need from you. Even if they don’t tell you, they will show you. Ask God for help and He will bless your efforts by giving you patience and wisdom. Remember to enjoy these times with your children because they grow up fast!

Teresa Barnes, MSW, LCSW
Clinical Therapist